Why I am jealous of my Ex-Girlfriend? I want to cry over her

I’ve had a tough time getting over this breakup in a healthy, happy way. I miss her so much. I know that she is the right girl for me, and it hurts not to have her in my life anymore. Guilt has driven me into an emotional and psychological downward spiral and I just can’t seem to shake it off. It might sound crazy but I feel like crying over her every day. I’ve tried to get over her on my own, but I can’t.

The Feeling

I’ve been thinking about her all day, and the more time that passes, the harder it is for me to leave her in the past. To put it more plainly, I am jealous of my ex-girlfriend because she seems happy now. It seems that she has moved on from me and I can’t help but feel resentful about that. I still love her deeply, and I still want to be with her. She is all that I want and need, but she’s not here with me anymore. Knowing that she has moved on tells me that there is something that I did wrong, and this makes it difficult for me to let go of her.

I think about the future and how much better it will be once we’re together. I can’t help but feel like something is missing in my life right now. That’s my problem; I can’t seem to have a sense of fulfillment in my life without her. My friends tried to hook me up with other women but nothing worked. There is no substitute for the girl that I love. Heading down that road might lead to disaster, and it’s scary knowing how much time and effort it will take me to get over her. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but if I can just get through this difficult time then my life will be better in the long run.

I can’t help blaming myself for what went wrong in our relationship, and I still feel like everything is my fault. The more time that passes, the angrier and more resentful I become toward her. I’m so sorry for hurting her so much, but there was nothing else that I could do at the time. I can’t forget our time together because without her I feel empty inside. I still love her, and I’m trying to work past this resentment that I have toward her.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am a jealous ex-boyfriend because that’s how I feel.

The Theory

Jealousy has been shaped by social factors such as gender, race, class, age and religion.
Jealousy can be directed towards a romantic partner. This is what we generally read about in articles and books. The theory is good, and we can apply it to our daily lives. But, how about the feeling itself? When jealousy strikes, there are no indications as to what will trigger it. Your partner can be doing something as simple as reading a book in front of you. You suddenly feel jealous, but the jealousy isn’t directed towards anything in particular.

So basically no one can pin point the feeling. And if no one can pin point it, is it even real or just a figment of your imagination?

The Arguments

Jealousy is a biological drive that evolves from competition between males. It’s an adaptive behavior that evolved to keep the sexes in check so the species could thrive and survive. They say jealousy is a natural process which helps keep the wrong people out of relationships. The theory has been proven true in most cases, but there are cases where jealousy turned into obsession.

The way I am dealing with the jealousy is through projection.

Projection is the process by which we attribute feelings, thoughts and attitudes to ourselves when they belong to someone else. This is the primary defense mechanism used by the subconscious mind. We can do this consciously as well. When you are doing this consciously, you are trying to understand the other person’s point of view and see things from their perspective. If we put ourselves in somebody else’s shoes, we will be able to understand his or her behavior better. This is a very effective method of dealing with jealousy. It helps you to see your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend as a human being with feelings and emotions just like you have.

The Takeaway

There is a massive difference between jealousy and envy. Jealousy is an emotional response to loss, whereas envy is a desire for something your neighbor has. I am experiencing the feeling now and I think I’ll need to work through it by developing an awareness of my feelings and learning how to play through them. It will take time for me to get over her, but it will happen eventually. I will find another girl that will make me happier than she ever did. You can do the same thing. You can hold yourself accountable, and you will get through it.

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